"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I skipped work to stalk him.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
