I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
