Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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