This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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