I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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