nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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