Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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