I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
