I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
