go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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