the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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