are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
