wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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