But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
