They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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