Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
