11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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