dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
