Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
