therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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