okay pat passed out under dana's car
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
