She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
