Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
either way he was missing a nipple.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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