did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
