I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
