This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I still have a little drunk in my system
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
