Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
