if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
