i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
