she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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