why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
