Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He shit in the fireplace
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
