last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
