So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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