everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
