is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
