and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
