He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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