found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
