I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
