K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
