You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
