what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
