i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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