I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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