Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
