i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
