Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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