i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
