I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My pussy is not your playground.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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