Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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